How Counselling Can Help

Difficult feelings

When we are unhappy or when we are going through difficult times we often feel weighed down by our feelings. Being in emotional pain can make us unable to think, can drain our energy and can prevent us from doing the things we would like to do with our lives. Being able to share our thoughts and feelings in a safe environment can make us feel supported and less alone. In this way, counselling can help us to be able to begin to manage our feelings better. This can bring a great sense of relief.

Difficult experiences

When we have had difficult or traumatic experiences, we are often influenced by them in the here and now, making it difficult for us to lead happy and fulfilled lives. By sharing these often painful and frightening experiences we can begin to make sense of them, to work through them and to find a way of integrating them into our lives. In this way, therapy can help us to move towards living a happier and more fulfilled life.

Difficult situations

When we experience difficulties at work or in social situations we can often feel stuck, helpless and alone. We may feel that we don't know how to approach the situation or how to bring about the changes we are seeking. By sharing our experiences we can begin to feel stronger. By talking to someone outside of work or our social setting we can also begin to explore these difficulties with some distance and can begin to find new ways of tackling difficult situations.

Difficult behaviours

Using substances as well as unhealthy eating patterns and self-harming can often be the only way we know how to deal with difficult feelings and painful life experiences. By exploring what may be at the core of our behaviour with the help of an experienced and supportive counsellor, therapy can help us to find alternative ways of dealing with these difficult emotions and experiences. This can enable us to learn healthier and more positive ways of coping with our lives.

Relationship problems and family conflict

When we experience difficulties in our relationships with people who are close to us; our partner, our children, members of our family or our friends, it can be hard to find people to talk to about our problems. By thinking about any difficulties together with someone who is outside our family or circle of friends we can gain some distance to the problem and begin to unpick the often complex dynamics of a difficult relationship. A fresh perspective and emotional support can be a vital first step in working towards finding new ways of relating to the people in our lives and resolving the difficulties that we are experiencing.

Bereavement and other losses

When we have lost a loved one or experienced other significant losses such as divorce, bankruptcy or redundancy, we can find it hard to know how to deal with the grief and the finality of the loss. By talking and sharing our grief in therapy we can begin to mourn our loss. By working through our pain with our counsellor we can begin to lift the burden of our unhappiness. We can then begin to contemplate a way past this difficult time in our lives, towards a happier future.

Difficulties associated with multicultural upbringing and frequently moving home

When we have experience of different cultures and/or have lived in many different places, it can make us feel lost, can make us wonder who we are and can give us a sense of not knowing where we belong in the world. It can make us restless and unable to settle in one place, one job or one relationship and it can be hard to know how to break the pattern. Talking to someone who is familiar with the problems associated with a life dominated by high mobility and/or a multicultural upbringing can help us to better understand how these experiences shaped who we are today and the life choices we make. In this way therapy can help us to break destructive patterns and to work towards finding a sense of identity and belonging.

Not knowing

When we are in the grip of difficult feelings, without knowing why, we may believe that there is no point in seeking help because we cannot give any reasons for our pain. It is not uncommon not to know what is making us unhappy. Sharing our feelings in therapy can help us to work towards uncovering the cause of our unhappiness. This can begin to make us feel less helpless and therefore more able to work towards becoming a happier person.

What saves a man is to take a step
Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Beginning Therapy

It is not uncommon for people to feel hesitant or unsure about seeking therapeutic help.

An initial consultation can be a helpful way of addressing any concerns that you may have. It provides an opportunity for us to meet, to talk a bit about you and your difficulties and to decide together whether coming to see me on a regular basis would benefit you.

If, following our first meeting, we decided to continue together, we would agree a regular time to meet each week. The establishment of regular sessions is important, as it helps to create a safe and secure framework within which the counselling work can take place.

To set up an initial meeting or to discuss any questions or concerns that you may have contact me by phone or email.